


Try as I might, I can't forget you

by ToshiChan



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Coma, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Starco, Major Character Injury, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 22:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToshiChan/pseuds/ToshiChan
Summary: Star bounded over, catching Marco just before his body could crash to the floor. She cradled him gently, calling his name.“Marco. Marco, thank goodness you’re okay. Marco! Marco?”He didn’t move.Marco doesn’t wake up right away after the battle with Meteora.





	Try as I might, I can't forget you

Star struggled to suck air into her protesting lungs. Her chest rose and fell heavily with each achieved breath. The fight against Meteora had taken everything out of her and then some. If Eclipsa hadn’t intervened and reverted her daughter back to a baby, Star knew she would have lost the battle. Even with her new form, and all her magic, she had failed. She wasn’t worthy of being the queen of Mewni, let alone the princess. Not that she really was that either, thanks to Meteora’s replacement.

A high pitched squealing sound started up, sort of akin to the sad noise balloons made when they deflated. This was usually a noise that made her sad, but now Star looked up and watched with a mix of wonder and relief as the floating soulless bodies that had once filled the sky started to drift back to earth. Already people were waking up, souls returned now that Meteora was defeated. And if everyone was going back to normal, then that meant…

“Marco!” Star sprung up. The muscles in her body ached and screamed in protest but she ignored them. Bruises and scrapes meant nothing to her now that she knew Marco was going to be alright.

She could see his body spiralling down, just like the rest of them were. Around her, bodies crashed to the floor and people groaned their pain for the world to hear. Star didn’t care. She only had eyes for one person.

Star bounded over, catching Marco just before his body could crash to the floor. She cradled him gently, calling his name.

“Marco. Marco, thank goodness you’re okay. Marco! Marco?”

He didn’t move.

Star fought down the fear that was fighting to rise. This was nothing to worry about. Marco was just taking a little longer to wake up. She just had to shake him a few times and then everything would be alright. Yeah, yeah that sounded good.

“Wake up Marco!” She yelled and shook him roughly.

His eyes didn’t open and he remained still.

“Marco!” She shook him again. “This so isn’t the time to take a nap.”

If she thought her unfunny, half joke, half insult, would wake Marco, then she was wrong. Her precious friend remained limp in her arms, long hair and purple dress from the princess disguise (if you could even call it a disguise anymore, since Marco wore it so often and freely) spilling over Star’s arms.

Panicked, Star hastened to press her head to Marco’s chest. It was hard to tell through all the layers of dress, but she was able to pick out a steady heartbeat. Mewni residents didn’t have identical bodies to humans, and while Star had a heartbeat, hers was a lot faster than Marco’s. She’d panicked the first time she’d heard it, not realising that human’s hearts beat slower. They’d spent an hour working things out, so Star knew Marco’s heart sounded alright. Not too fast, not too slow.

Marco was alive. He just wasn’t waking up.

“Star!” Tom appeared in her line of sight. “You’re okay!”

Maybe it was because Tom was so happy to see her alive and alright while Marco wasn’t, but Star suddenly felt tears bubble up and spill over. She would have wiped her eyes, but her arms were reserved for cradling Marco and it was a job she refused to fail at.

“Tom.” She sobbed. “He’s not waking up.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Tom knelt in front of her. It was the softest he’d ever sounded, but Star didn’t have time to be in awe of that. “Marco’s gonna be just fine. He always is.”

“But what if it’s different this time?” Star gave Marco another little shake, just to prove her point. “See?”

“He might just need to rest a little bit.” Tom said reassuringly. “If we get him to a bed, he can sleep off today. We did a lot of crazy stuff today, and it’s not like he has hundreds of souls like I do.”

“Are you sure?” Star stared into Tom’s three eyes.

“Sure, I’m sure.” Tom stood back up. “He has a room in the palace, right? Let’s take him there.”

“Okay.” Star looked down at Marco’s somewhat peaceful face. Tom sounded so certain, it was hard not to believe him. “Okay, I can do that. But first…”

She turned to look at Eclipsa.

There was something she needed to do.

 

**Two Days After the Battle for Mewni**

 

“Hey Marco. I hope you don’t mind me sitting here for a bit. Everything’s so crazy right now and I just need to vent for a bit. If you do mind, you could always wake up and let me know? It’s been two days. That’s a long time to stay asleep. If you are…asleep. Anyway, everything’s just really hard right now. The kingdom is a mess. Meteora did a lot of damage and repairs are going really slowly. We can’t find mum. She hasn’t showed up anywhere but we can’t start looking until everything’s under control here. I’m acting queen in her place but I don’t know what to do. Mum never taught me about that stuff. She was always there to do it herself. Now I have to handle everything and I just can’t. It’s so much pressure. Eclipsa took Meteora and left. I think she’ll come back, but apparently she’s gone to find her husband. That’s what Glossaryk said. Oh yeah! Glossaryk was just pretending to have no memory. I don’t know why. He kept saying ‘Globgor’ because that was the name of Eclipsa’s monster husband. Anyway, he went after Eclipsa. Probably because she has…uh…this is hard. I have to tell you something, Marco. Promise you won’t get mad?”

“…”

“I’ll take that as a yes. I gave Eclipsa the wand. I just…gave it to her. I mean, it’s rightfully hers. My family isn’t of royal blood. We’re descended from a random peasant girl that was chosen to replace the rightful princess. I couldn’t keep the wand after knowing that. It wasn’t right. Eclipsa deserved it, after everything we did. Everyone is really mad at me. They keep telling me I’m a stupid queen and that I’ll go down in history as the worst ruler Mewni ever had. They say I’ve made a really bad chouce. Maybe I did, I don’t know. But I don’t want my life to be a lie. Does that make sense?”

“…”

“What am I even doing here? You can’t answer me. I just sort of thought if I came here and talked to you, you’d wake up and talk back. You wanna do that? Right now?”

“…”

“Okay, Marco. That’s okay. Everyone told me how brave you were, fighting Meteora. You deserve to rest. Just…wake up soon, okay? I miss you.”

 

**Seven Days After the Battle for Mewni**

 

“Hey Marco! Feel like waking up yet? It’s been like, a week since we’ve talked. I don’t think anyone’s ever slept for this long. The royal doctor keeps telling me you’re not asleep, and that you’re in a coma. But that’s not true, right? Because comas are dangerous and sometimes people don’t wake up but you’re totally going to wake up. In fact, I’m sure today’s the day. I can feel it!”

“…”

“Stop being so stubborn, Marco. Come on, I need you. You’re my squire. Everything’s too hard and I can’t do this on my own. Please…there’s no one else I trust like you.”

“…”

“I should tell your parents. That’s really something I should do, isn’t it? They deserve to know. You’re their son. It isn’t right for me to just let them think you’re fine, when you’re not. I mean, of course you’re fine! What am I saying? You’re just a little sleepy, that’s all. They don’t need to know about that. They probably have hundreds of stories about times you’ve been sleepy. How about you tell me some?”

“…”

“Just so you know, I’m going to keep coming here and talking to you. I’ll just keep blathering on until you wake up and answer me. The longer you sleep, the more the questions are gonna bank up. I expect answers to all of them, alright?”

“…”

“You can’t say no. I’m the queen…I’m the acting queen and you’re my squire so you have to listen to what I say. You have to do what I say, and I’m saying that you should wake up. Come on Marco, wake up. I really can’t do this. I promise I’m not being overly dramatic like you always say I am. This time it’s the truth. I just can’t do this without you here. I need you to wake up. Everyone else did. Eclipsa defeated Meteora and boom! Everyone woke up. So why won’t you?”

“…”

“Okay, I have to go. Dad’s probably looking for me. There’s so much to do. No one likes it when I sneak away to do stuff like this. But I’ll be back. I promise. You better be awake soon mister, or I’m gonna get real angry.”

“…”

“Okay, that was a lie. I never want to be angry at you again. Just wake up. Please.”

 

**Thirteen Days After the Battle for Mewni**

 

“I did it. I told your parents. I think they took it well. I told them you’d been sleeping for like, nearly two weeks and that while the doctor called it a coma, I thought it was just you taking a really long nap. Your mum got all quiet and sad, though. And your dad left the room. I think he was crying. They asked to come visit so I’m gonna sneak them in as soon as possible. I know you miss them. If you won’t wake up for me, will you wake up for them?”

“…”

“And another question you gotta answer. They’re stacking up, Marco. They’re really stacking up. You sure you don’t wanna wake up before we hit one hundred?! I know you earth folk play a game called ‘twenty questions’ but that’s not as many as one hundred. I’m sure it’d be easier to answer twenty questions.”

“…”

“Tom and I are taking a break. We haven’t broken up. We just both agreed now wasn’t the right time for a relationship. He’s been really nice lately, so I feel bad. But even after we talked about it, he still keeps showing up and helping with the repairs and bringing me snacks. He even sits with you sometimes. I know you and Tom used to hate each other, but he said you’re really close now and that you’re his best friend. I’m really glad about that. You two are like, the most important people in my life. It would totally suck if you didn’t get alone. Oh! I nearly forgot. He says he’s looking for my mum! I hope he finds her soon. I really need her. Just like I need you.”

“…”

“Eclipsa still hasn’t shown up, but I’m hoping she comes back soon. We need to talk things through. Maybe I was a little hasty when I gave her my wand. Hah. Did you hear that? I said I made a mistake. I know what you’d said if you were awake. You’d think you were dreaming. You always did say I could never face my problems. Well I am now. Wake up and be proud of me, okay.”

“…”

“Anyway, Eclipsa’s still gone and I’m really struggling to keep Mewni together. Dad’s trying his best, and so’s the magic council. But things are a real mess. I’ve told you all this before, though. I’m probably boring you, sitting here and complaining like this. Or maybe you can’t hear me at all. Maybe nothing I’m saying is reaching you. Maybe this is just pointless!”

“…”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to get angry and break that vase. It had such nice flowers in them. Kelly brought them for you. I think she likes you. You’d make a cute couple. You should go on a date with her when you wake up. If that’s what you want, of course.”

“…”

“I have to go now. We’re doing a family dinner. Well, trying to. There isn’t much left of us now, is there? Um…that’s not a question I want you to answer. Just forget it.”

 

**Sixteen Days After the Battle for Mewni**

 

“I snuck your parents in! They’ve really livened up the place. There’s streamers and wall hangings and way too many cacti. The nurse nearly had a fit when she saw. She called them a ‘hazardous material’ and that they ‘made for a dangerous work environment’. Can you believe her?”

“…”

“You probably would, wouldn’t you, Mr Safety Boy. You’d say the exact same thing as she did, and then you’d rescue the cacti and find them a better home. You wouldn’t stop until things were right. Don’t you see, Marco? That’s why I need you. Right now, Mewni needs someone like you. It needs someone to put things right and I’m not that person. I’m just making everything worse. No matter what I do, things go wrong. We had to stop repairs because we’re running out of resources. Mum’s still missing and there hasn’t been any reported sightings of Eclipsa. I never thought I’d be the queen to fitness the fall of Mewni, but apparently I am.”

“…”

“This probably isn’t the best kind of conversation. I know! We’ll keep talking about your parents. What did they say when they visited? Did they tell you when Marco Junior was due? Your mum looked really big, it has to be any day, right?”

“…”

“Oh yeah. You really wanted to be there for the birth. Maybe this isn’t a good conversation either. I want to cheer you up. You looked really peaceful when you floated into my arms after Meteora was defeated, but now you just look sad. Are you having bad dreams? Can I help?”

“…”

“How can I keep doing this Marco? What am I supposed to do?! I can’t keep pretending you’re just asleep. You’re hurt and it’s bad and I don’t know what to do without you! I don’t know how I can help because you can’t answer me. You can’t do anything! Why can’t you just wake up? _Why are you leaving me?!_ ”

“…”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have got so mad. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have let you go fight Meteora. It was a dumb idea. While you were risking your life, I was playing around in the realm of magic. I forgot all about you. If I’d been quicker and better, then I would have been back in time to help you. Then you’d be alright and not…not…not like this. You’d be awake and happy and smiling. Everything would be alright if I didn’t keep messing things up!”

“…”

“Don’t give me that look! You know I’m right. This is all my fault. I’m going now. I can’t do this today. Not now. I’m sorry.”

 

**Twenty Days After the Battle for Mewni**

 

“Mum’s still not back. She’s missing and I’m worried. Eclipsa hasn’t been seen anywhere. People are scared. They don’t know what to do. They keep looking for me for advice but I don’t know what to do either. Dad’s angry all the time. Tom’s trying to do his best but I can tell it’s wearing him out. I just know I could sort things out if you were here to help me. We’re using all the magic we can. We’re trying Mewni medicine and earth medicine so why won’t you wake up?”

“…”

“I want an answer, Marco! I _need_ an answer. I can’t keep going on like this. Tell me what I need to do to help you and I’ll do it!”

“…”

“Do you…not want to wake up? Are you happier when you don’t have to deal with all this? Do you just not want to deal with me? Is that it? Tell me!”

“…”

“I don’t want to be angry, Marco. I hate being angry at you. I know this isn’t your fault. I just need to yell sometimes. There’re all these emotions inside of me and I can’t let them out. I have to be queen and queens don’t act like me. It isn’t right. I can’t betray my people more than I already have. They deserve someone better than me, but I’m all they’ve got for now. I can’t keep letting them down. Do you understand?”

“…”

“That’s why I come here. This is the only place I can just sit and talk. You know what the sad thing is? I don’t even think I’d do this if you were awake. I’m only telling you all these things because you’re not awake to hear them. The truth is…I’m scared. But I don’t want anyone to know that I’m scared. So I pretend I’m fine. And then I come here and I let it all out. I let it all out on you because you can’t hear me. That way, I’m still brave. But if you were awake, then maybe I wouldn’t even have half these problems, because you’d be here to help me.”

“…”

“Why aren’t you here to help me?”

“…”

_“Star? Where are you?”_

“That’s Tom. Maybe he has news on mum! I’ve got to go! I promise I’ll come back as soon as I can. But only if you wake up as soon as you can. Deal?”

Star left in such a hurry she missed a quiet voice rasp back.

“Deal.”

 

**Twenty Four Days After the Battle for Mewni**

 

“Princess Star!” A hassled looking nurse burst into Star’s bedroom. Star had been asleep, wrapped up in as many blankets as she could get away with. Without her mother to protest, or Marco to suggest a smaller amount, this had ended up being quite a large amount. It was a struggle to worm her way free but she managed eventually.

“What is it?” She said as nicely as she could. The nurse had woken her up after all.

“You told me to alert you the moment there was any change in Marco Diaz’s condition.” The nurse panted.

This was enough to wake Star up fully. She sprang up out of bed in nothing but her nightgown. “And?”

“Marco Diaz is showing signs of regaining consciousness. The doctor thinks he’ll be fully awake in roughly ten minutes.”

Star didn’t stick around to hear anymore. She was already running, past the nurse and through the corridors of the palace to where Marco slept.

“Marco!” She rested her foot against the door and shoved it open with a mighty kick. “Marco, you’re awake!”

“Shhh.” The doctor hissed from his position over Marco’s bed. “His hearing is sensitive.”

Star flapped her hand in a makeshift apology. She didn’t have the time or patience to care about anybody except Marco.

And there he was.

After twenty-four days of remaining asleep, stuck between life and death (a horrible thought Star had tried to stay away from) here Marco was at last, awake.

Star flung herself at him, crying. “Marco!”

“Star, Star, calm down.” Marco’s voice was raspy but there was no mistaking it. This was the voice she’d missed so much, the voice she’d longed to hear again.

“How do you expect me to calm down, mister.” She pulled away and gave him a gentle punch on the arm, mindful of the magic needle stuck in it. “You’ve been asleep for twenty-four days.”

“Yeah.” The small smile Marco had been wearing dripped away. “The doctor said. That’s a…that’s a really long time.”

“You have no idea.” Star sat on the bed next to him. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I probably did too.” Marco shrugged. “If I’d known what was going on. The last thing I remember was Meteora aiming her evil beam at me. Then…nothing.”

So, he didn’t remember all the questions Star had asked and expected answers for. Well, now that he was awake, there was plenty of time for that.

“How are things?” Marco asked.

“Nuh uh.” Star shushed him. “Don’t worry your safe little head.”

“Huh?”

“You’re in recovery.” Star annunciated the word with great care. “Doctor’s orders. No worrying.”

The doctor glanced up from his examination of Marco’s chart. “I never said that.”

“Shh.” It was Star’s turn to shush the doctor. “Queen’s orders.”

“So you’re mum isn’t back yet?” Marco cut in, struggling to sit up.

“I said no worrying!” Star hit him again. “You got hurt really badly, Marco. You have to get better.”

Marco flopped back down against the pillows. “I guess you’re right.”

“I am.” Star sang. She rested her chin in her hand and drank Marco in.

He was a little thinner than before the fight, though not by much. He’d always been a twig, except for the time he’d gotten magical abs. His skin was slightly paler as well, but again, not by much. He’d always have that brown skin thanks to his Mexican family. A coma couldn’t do much more than take the edge off it slightly. His hair hadn’t grown much at all. Marco looked basically the same as he had those three and a bit weeks ago when he’d fallen into his coma.

Star was abruptly struck by how little time twenty-four days was, even thought it had felt longer than some years had. Marco hadn’t even been in his coma for a month. Star couldn’t begin to imagine what would have happened if that had happened. Without Marco, she’d slowly been falling apart. Even the brief conversations with him were starting to lose what little hope they brought her.

How much longer could she have continued on without him.

She choked back a sob that had abruptly worked its way up. Startled, Marco fought to sit up again.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Star shook her head. “These are happy tears.”

Sensing a moment, the doctor wisely chose to leave.

“I’m really glad you’re okay.” Star decided to be brave and reached out to take Marco’s hand. “I was so worried when you didn’t wake up. Things have…well they’ve been hard without you.”

“I’m sorry.” Marco didn’t pull his hand free. Instead, he gave it a gentle squeeze. “I should have been there for you.”

“It wasn’t your fault, dummy.” Star said softly. “You were really hurt. Meteora had it out for you. It made sense that you weren’t magically okay after what she did. I just really wished it was.”

“Me too.” Marco laughed weakly. “My entire body kinda hurts right now.”

“Oh, sorry!” Star moved to pull away but Marco kept hold.

“You’re not hurting me.” He promised. “You never could.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

Star relaxed. She felt a weight on her chest lift, free to leave her alone now that Marco was awake. With him by her side, she could start to help Mewni properly. She wouldn’t be alone anymore. He trusted squire would be by her side.

“Hey Marco?”

“Yeah, Star?”

“I have some questions that need answering. There was a lot of one-sided conversations while you were out, and I expect answers to everything I asked.”

“Is there any point in saying no?”

“Nope!”

“Thought so.”

And they laughed. Two friends, awake, alive and ready to take on whatever the world through at them.

“Question number one. Are you mad at me? I kind of did something bad and I need to know. You see…”

And the thing was, like Star had assumed all those days ago, he wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally caught up with SVTFOE and was super inspired to get this out. I wrote it really quickly so I can get it out before season four! I really hope you like it. There was a bit of experimental stuff in here with writing a lot of it as just a one-sided conversation between Star and Marco.
> 
> There's hints of Starco, and it can easily just be read as full Starco. There's also brief illusions to trans girl Marco. They're pretty small and easy to miss because I feel that's a story for another time.
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos, they really let a girl know her work is appreciated!


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